REVIEW: Love is the End by phoebes.promise

Summary from ff.net:
If he had only spoken the right words at the right time she would be his forever. Instead, they ache, love and long for each other in silence. A bittersweet love story desperately searching for a happily ever after. E/B, AH, M.


Every now and again I read a story that grips my heart and doesn't let go. This happened to me with this story. My Twi Posse pals @RTP4ME and @livindol recommended this fic that I'm obsessing over like I did for Dead on my Feet. I crave updates like a hooker craves a feminine wipe.

This story tells the history of Bella and Edward's love from primarily Edward's POV in a series of nonchronological flashbacks interwoven into the present day narrative starting with a prologue that's painful to read.

"Do you make love to her, Edward?" She whispered in the darkness.

I stilled my fingers that were stroking the smooth, delicate skin on her naked back as she lay across my chest.

"Answer me. Do you make love to your…wife?" Her voice trailed off at the last word.

Bella and Edward are lovers desperately in love. Widow Bella and married Edward are brought together once again at Hale House to remember their mutual friend Angela, who has died tragically. Because their lives have revolved around the same band of friends, their clandestine couplings take place around significant life events that bring the crew together.

I knew we were already vacillating between mourning and loving. It was a complicated conflict that only we understood. We'd mastered our reunions around the guise of funerals, weddings, christenings, and holidays.

Whether intentional or not, this story pays homage to the movie The Big Chill, and I highly recommend watching said movie- perhaps the best casting in a ensemble movie ever.

Wusspervs BEWARE! I have teared up or downright wept during each chapter just like I do reading Expectations and Other Moving Pieces. The following passage takes place while Bella is holding Angela's baby girl:

I rocked and soothed Leah in her moonlit nursery. I traced her tiny features and watched her rapid breaths. "If your mommy was here, she'd guide my heart… She was very good at that. She'd remind me how much Edward loves me, how much he always loved me… How we'll be okay." My whispers were met with peace and slumber. I dusted a goodnight kiss over her forehead and laid her down. "But your mommy's not here… anymore, beautiful girl."

This is not a secretive infidelity, nearly everyone knows that Edward and Bella are in love and having an affair. All their friends and families know. Bella's deceased husband knew before he died. Even Lauren, Edward's ex-beauty queen wife, suspects Edward has someone on the side, though she hasn't figured out who it is. Some are supportive and some are not, and this creates additional stress on this couple trying to find a way to be together when all the cards are stacked against them.

The characterizations here are rich. From Renee's drinking problem, to Lauren's vapid personality, you will get these people; they are real. And speaking of Lauren, I find myself truly feeling very sorry for this character. She has done nothing to deserve Edward's betrayal.

If I started quoting my favorite passages from this fic I would be here all day. This is one that I can't get out of my head.

"You make love to your beautiful wife, in your beautiful home, in your beautiful life… You know what I do, Edward?" She whispered away from me. "I lay in the guest room, in the dark… touching myself, thinking about you… remembering you... missing you." Her tears fell, her words penetrated.

"My life is not beautiful, Bella." I said quietly, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Do you love her?" She faced me, eyes seeking truth.

The following line had me realizing for the 2,543,907th time what separates people who write from writers:

"Talk to me…" She pulled away to see my face. Gently, her fingers traced along my cheekbones, down my jaw and covered my mouth, again. She shook her head, no. Denial was a dangerous evil easily mistaken for survival.

The author admits that there will be more torture before the promised HEA. I understand many of you will want to wait until it's complete to read. I will tweet when it's complete so you won't have to live in agony for updates like myself...Now where's that feminine wipe?

 If you like angst please give this story a read and tell phoebes.promise I sent you.