FanficADD: So Many Stories, So Little Time

DISCLAIMER: This is in no way meant to be offensive to people who suffer from ADD/ADHD. If you are offended by this, or are easily offended, you should probably not read my blog...ever.


Lately I have found myself frustrated with Twi-fic. Some of my issues are:

1. I find myself starting a story then becoming bored and moving on, aka flouncing - the bad word - it's the "cunt" of fanfiction. Some of these stories have thousands of reviews and a year ago I probably would've loved them.

2. I have lost count of the WIPs that I'm reading. Sometimes I get behind in a story that I forgot to put on alert because I started reading it from a twitter link. Three months later I get excited when see a tweet about that fic updating and I think "Holy Motherfuck! I was reading that!"

3. I attempt to read all the stories my friends are reading - freaking impossible task.

4. I fail to review as often as I should, then I feel guilty about not reviewing enough.

5. I have no time to do all the things that keep my world functioning. I can't work full-time, clean my house, weed the garden, update the blog more than once a month, read, review, cook supper, host an Independence Day party for 60, etc. Fuck, I'm overwhelmed just thinking about it. I'd love to write a fic. I think I could do it. Riiiight, like I have time for that. When I get around to that, it will be about Bella and Edward falling in love in a nursing home and I'll be doing my own research.

6. Sometimes I just don't know what I want to read. High School fic? Nah. D/s? Nope. Manwhore E? Meh. Vamp fic? Probably not. Some plotlines are being rehashed too often. The stories start to meld together. I start to mix up characters - "Shit. I thought Alice was Edward's sister not Bella's cousin." Then when I finally find one that grabs me, I find out it was plagiarized word-for-word. And worse yet...it was a Harlequin romance.

*Headdesk*

My Posse h00rs and I have discussed that these are all symptoms of a condition we call FanficADD. When it hits me that usually means I should read a "real book" to clear my head. And thanks to my "real life" do-gooder friends that discovered I love to read, I now have a shitload of those on a TBR list as well. It never ends...

 

What are your symptoms of FanficADD? Come on...you can tell me, I'm a doctor physician assistant.

COMMENTARY: Fanfiction has taken over my fucking life!

I used to clean one or more rooms of my house everyday. This rarely happens anymore. It's presentable, but don't look too closely. This is not to say I've conquered my OCD about the house being clean, but the draw to read fanfiction overrides the draw to clean my house obsessively. That means I am stressing about my house looking like shit (because in my eyes it does), but I continue reading. Is there a pill for this?


I used to watch TV and Netflix movies. Yup, that's now a thing of the past. And since I'm the sugar-mama around here, it chaps my ass that I pay the DirecTV and Netflix bills and I don't even watch TV. My RL friends think I'm whacked because I haven't seen Modern Family or Glee. Meh. What-the-fuck-ever.


I used to read magazines like Living the Country Life, Better Homes & Gardens, and Midwest Living. I still subscribe to them but I haven't read an issue in months. I recently started going through the Pottery Barn and Williams Sonoma catalogs. Get this - I had stopped looking at those when they came in the mail and that's just fucking crazy! I love those stores!


I used to be my neighborhood's answer to Martha Stewart. In the summer of 2009 I had a fabulous garden filled with tomatoes, peppers, onions, corn, strawberries, raspberries, asparagus, herbs, garlic, peas, beans, carrots, rhubarb, and other stuff I can't recall. Some of these veggies, like the tomatoes and herbs, I started from seed with grow lights and whatnot. I made pies and canned salsa. In the summer of 2010 AFF (after fanfiction), I planted 7 tomato plants and weeded once. I did read a lot of fanfiction on the deck while sipping wine or martinis.


Our family went camping in August 2010. I brought along the laptop and wireless internet aircard so I could read fanfiction. What is a vacation on the beach if you're not reading your favorite stories? I also learned that it's tough reading a laptop while lying in the sun; that damn screen just isn't bright enough. I'm definitely getting an e-reader before next summer!


I now plan my vacation days around meeting my fellow Twitards and fich00rs. I have been to Forks once and am going back in September. Can't. Fucking. Wait. And yes, I'll be gone on my wedding anniversary again. Sorry hubs, you understand right?

I could go on and on with this...How has your fanfiction addiction changed your life?