Friday, May 18, 2012

REVIEW: High Fidelity by IReen H



Summary from ff. net: Edward is an unfeeling bastard. Bella gets caught up in his games. Language and lots of it. Lemons eventually. It's a slow burn, slow and painful. Mature. Lots of random pop culture references. AH, AU, ExB Romance/Angst

High Fidelity has kicked my lack of blog posting in the ass!

As the summary states, it's a slow burn and I'm fucking charred. This story is smartly written. The characters have depth and voice. The plot slowly, subtly unfolds. This is the best WIP I've started reading since There is a Light. High Fidelity has restored my faith in Twilight fanfiction as a source for high quality writing and undiscovered talent.

Bella, 27, works full-time at a realty office during the week and moonlights in catering on the weekends. She also takes a full load of credits at an online university. She is witty, bold, and at times self-deprecating. Edward thinks of her as, "Earthly and uncultured, lithe and whimsical." She is one of the strongest and most awe-inspiring Bella's in Twific.

Edward works in her building as an agent for Allstate Insurance. He's not your average insurance salesman. He's one cocky motherfucker, he's apparently loaded, and he is drop dead stunning.
I Google 'Edward Cullen, Allstate Insurance' and click on his agency page. I look at his picture. He isn't smiling. His hair is in its usual disarray. 
What is it about this guy? He looks like he wears Italian suits, his nails are clean and buffed and he smells expensive. He can't run a fucking brush through that shit? 
I bet he does it on purpose.
Though they have worked in the same building for five years, they don't formally meet until Allstate sends Bella a bill for an accident in which she wasn't involved. Allstate gives Bella the run-around and she's not enthused about having to deal with Allstate's or Edward's bullshit.
"Good Morning," he says to me. 
I feel like Curly Bill in Tombstone when I say "Hi," back. It sort of comes out sounding like FUCK OFF.
Edward explains that she's in this insurance clusterfuck because SHE never replied to their initial letter. She fumes in reply.
"I get a ton of junk mail. Sometimes I open it. Sometimes I don't. I have no reason to open anything from Allstate because I don't hold any policies with you guys. And I didn't hit anybody, YET, so I had no reason to anticipate that you would file a claim against me. I probably threw the first notices away, not knowing what they were." 
Is it just me or does he purposely skim my hand with his finger as I take the paper from him. Is this how Clarice Starling felt when Hannibal Lector touched her in the same manner?
Two days later Bella runs into Edward in the break room, she initiates conversation when she believes he's talking to her, then realizes he's speaking into an ear piece.
"I said hi. I thought you were being human for a moment and greeting me in a normal, human-like way. But I was wrong. Apologies." 
"Would you like me to greet you in a normal way?" 
"Really, Edward? I don't understand the game here. Is there an instruction manual... or something I could read?" 
He doesn't miss a beat. "Yes, it was mailed to you. You probably didn't open it." 
"No, I do vaguely remember something like that. I think I used it to clean up dog vomit."
I love the entertaining banter between these two.

Starting in chapter 4, IReen H feeds readers yummy snacks titled "EPOV." This is one guy you will love to hate.
I tend to gravitate towards the full of body, full of money types with highlights in their hair and flesh spilling out of the top of their shirts. Girls like Victoria Sutherland. Tanya Denali. Rosalie Hale. Chesty suggestive girls all of them, whose daddies have deep pockets.
I'm sweet on this Edward despite his asshattery. He's intelligent. He's honest with his thoughts and one minute he will leave you swooning...
Then her half smile blooms into a whole one, which adds a very alluring shimmer to her deep brown eyes. They twinkle under dark lashes. It's beautiful. She is beautiful.
And a minute later he will shock you with his crassness.
I wouldn't say I really like Victoria. She is shallow and vain. She has more shoes than Imelda Marcos. 
She has a dog that she carries in a purse. 
But she's easy. And the last thing I needed, when I met her, was a challenge. I just needed… a hole. And she has 3 of them. All willing.
*AHEM*

Edward's penchant for Barbie doll dates exacerbates Bella's insecurity, and this is a theme throughout the story thus far. Alice, Edward's sister, tells Bella that Edward's type is "plastic," with "lots of tits."
So, as much as I may want to, it's probably best not to think about what his mouth feels like. That only ends badly for me. 
In heartbreak, most likely.
Despite their differences - or perhaps because of them - Edward and Bella have simmering chemistry. They smolder; one spark and they are poised to ignite. Hell, they might spontaneously combust. Bella initially attempts to deny their intense attraction, but he embraces it. He wants her, almost desperately. Bella guards her heart having been burned before and Edward apparently buried his heart on the battlefield. These two are both survivors of different wars and their battle scars run deep.

I love the flow of this story, the slow burn, and the gradual reveal of the character's flaws and conflicts. The pop culture references are spot-on and help the reader identify with the characters.
Despite what I might have learned from 16 Candles, "I had a really bizarre dream last night and you were in it," is not a good opening line in any scenario. 
The ride up to Edward's condo feels otherworldly. Like, now I know how Katniss Everdeen felt being lifted into the arena. Unknown, infinite badness awaits me at the end of this upwards journey.
High Fidelity is a story that gets better with each update. Chapter 13, the last posted, was one of my favorite chapters ever… of all the stories I've ever read. While reading, I experienced a full spectrum of emotion. Hope. Resolve. Disappointment. Apprehension. Anger. Sadness. Disgust. Depression. Embarrassment. Humiliation. Determination. Rage. Heartbreak. Vindication. Upon finishing the update I wanted a martini. And a shoulder to cry on. And a girlfriend to share a fist bump. I felt like I ran a marathon. It was brutal and punishing, but oh how exhilarating!

Author IReen H on twitter:  @ajapersuasia
High Fidelity Facebook group:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/357616267625752/



Monday, June 27, 2011

FanficADD: So Many Stories, So Little Time

DISCLAIMER: This is in no way meant to be offensive to people who suffer from ADD/ADHD. If you are offended by this, or are easily offended, you should probably not read my blog...ever.


Lately I have found myself frustrated with Twi-fic. Some of my issues are:

1. I find myself starting a story then becoming bored and moving on, aka flouncing - the bad word - it's the "cunt" of fanfiction. Some of these stories have thousands of reviews and a year ago I probably would've loved them.

2. I have lost count of the WIPs that I'm reading. Sometimes I get behind in a story that I forgot to put on alert because I started reading it from a twitter link. Three months later I get excited when see a tweet about that fic updating and I think "Holy Motherfuck! I was reading that!"

3. I attempt to read all the stories my friends are reading - freaking impossible task.

4. I fail to review as often as I should, then I feel guilty about not reviewing enough.

5. I have no time to do all the things that keep my world functioning. I can't work full-time, clean my house, weed the garden, update the blog more than once a month, read, review, cook supper, host an Independence Day party for 60, etc. Fuck, I'm overwhelmed just thinking about it. I'd love to write a fic. I think I could do it. Riiiight, like I have time for that. When I get around to that, it will be about Bella and Edward falling in love in a nursing home and I'll be doing my own research.

6. Sometimes I just don't know what I want to read. High School fic? Nah. D/s? Nope. Manwhore E? Meh. Vamp fic? Probably not. Some plotlines are being rehashed too often. The stories start to meld together. I start to mix up characters - "Shit. I thought Alice was Edward's sister not Bella's cousin." Then when I finally find one that grabs me, I find out it was plagiarized word-for-word. And worse yet...it was a Harlequin romance.

*Headdesk*

My Posse h00rs and I have discussed that these are all symptoms of a condition we call FanficADD. When it hits me that usually means I should read a "real book" to clear my head. And thanks to my "real life" do-gooder friends that discovered I love to read, I now have a shitload of those on a TBR list as well. It never ends...
 
What are your symptoms of FanficADD? Come on...you can tell me, I'm a doctor physician assistant.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

GUEST REVIEW: Wrenfield Hall by Wannabe Charlotte

REVIEWER: MoltenChocCake

Summary from ff.net: In 1870s England, Bella finds herself without home or family when her father dies. She secures a position as a housemaid in a country manor belonging to Lord Edward Masen. The two form a bond that is threatened by class differences and Edward's past.

My goal isn't to provide spoilers to the story, but certainly it can be difficult to review a story without revealing something. You have been warned. 

Before we go any further, let's learn a bit more about the author: Wannabe Charlotte (WC). WC is a  former reporter making her first foray into creative writing. Right away, I like her perspective. She realizes that having a Bella and Edward story makes it much more attractive to TwiFanFic readers. She clearly states that she doesn't see Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart as the Edward and Bella in this story. I'm not as prolific a TwiFanFic reader as my wife, but I have contended that using Edward and Bella is an easy way to get readers who will read anything, good or bad, that's stamped with Twilight; and that using them also allows people to be sloppy and/or cut corners in character development. That being said, Wrenfield Hall is expertly written and compelling. WannabeCharlotte started the fic, intending to keep it secret from her husband. That didn't last long and, to her surprise, her husband has helped her significantly in the later stages of the fic. As a husband myself, I applaud their teamwork. I hope that more husbands and wives are able to share their passions with each other, whether NASCAR or TwiFanFic!

As with most TwiFanFic stories I read, this is an Edward and Bella story. Thus, you have a pretty good idea ahead of time that they'll end up together. So, the question usually isn't who ends up together, but how. That's how this story feels right from the start. It seems that it will be just a matter of time before Edward and Bella end up together. The crux of Wrenfield Hall is how to these two people, from opposite social classes, find each other and build their relationship into something  meaningful. Who will support this relationship? Who will try to damage it? The usual cast of characters exist, as in most TwiFanFic's that I have read: the lovable Mrs. Cope, Mike Newton (albeit indirectly), James, Tanya, etc.


Wrenfield Hall is rated 'T' and therefore, no real lemons. That's not to say there isn't sexual tension.

Wrenfield Hall is a period TwiFic, based in the 1870's. Bella is a down-on-her-luck servant at the Wrenfield Hall. The master of the estate is, of course, Lord Edward Mason. If you have ever read or watched Pride and Prejudice, you'll sense the similarities at once.  It's a great read with a lot of drama and character development. If you're looking for salacious lemons, look elsewhere. If you want a story with a great plot, fantastic character development, and some angst, then you come to the right story.

Bella's father has died leaving her with little choice but marriage to someone she doesn't love or taking a job as a servant at manor. She chose the latter because she would rather not marry if it doesn't include love. She realizes and accepts that forgoing the marriage means a lower station in life with hard work. WC has created a character that you can rally behind. You want Bella to find love, to succeed, to increase her lot in life. Being a Twilight story, it seems obvious that the solution is Lord Edward Masen. The question is, how can Bella and Lord Masen find love across the class barrier that exists.

On day one at the manor, Bella happens upon Lord Masen in the library. They do notice each other, but Bella is quickly put in her place when she is told that in the future she should use the servant's entrance. Bella gets to meet her fellow workers: the lovely Mrs. Cope, her new friend Lizzie, and the irritable Mrs. Mallory. It's clear that the work will be tough for Bella. And though we expect Lord Masen and Bella to start having contact, it occurs infrequently during that first week or so at the manor.

Meanwhile, we get some glimpses into Lord Masen. The readers now understand that Edward has his own demons to contend with. His brother James has describe the solution -- to what problem, we don't know yet. But, that solution is not acceptable to Edward. But, certainly, this problem will be one that Edward must contend with and probably will affect Bella and Edward's chance at a relationship.


A Visit To The Library For A Good Book

Bella and Edward's relationship does develop and does so very slowly. It centers around books and the library. The library represents what Bella gave up on her father's death and marriage proposal refusal. It gives opportunity for the pair to have a connection that is not shared with any others; it reveals how well a match they are. The library and books also are a barometer of their relationship.

With the books, Bella can live in whatever world she wishes--travelling around the world and in time. Edward gets a window into her soul when discussing them with her. The readers get invested in the relationship as it develops around this intimate book club. WC has crafted a wonderful story where the readers are rooting for the relationship to grow and develop into something wonderful.

But, life is not all rosey and neither is this story. The troubles that afflicted both Bella and Edward in the opening chapter come to light and wreak havoc on the relationship. There seems to be a path for them to walk through these troubles and arrive safely on the other side.  But will they succeed?

The rest of the story is to be discovered by the reader and not from this reviewer. It's a worthwhile ride but one I'm not willing to give away.


There's Love In The Air...or is that a Balloon?
He stood, uncertainly, inches from her, looking down at her. It would be so easy to reach out, put his hand on her waist, pull her close to him, to knot his fingers in her damp hair and angle her face up to his…
...


Touch me…please touch me…
There certainly is sexual tension in this story but we are spared lemons. [Yes, I said 'spared.' A personal preference, I know.] The anticipation for Bella and Edward to express their love for each other is palpable. But Bella is not in the position to ask Edward to 'stoop' to her class. Edward has other issues with which to contend. They both want each other and the reader knows it. What the reader doesn't know...well, you'll just have to read and find out. I will say that it has to do with balloons.


My Two Cents...worth less than a penny, I know

By this point, you should realize that this reviewer is thoroughly enjoying Wrenfield Hall. I have recommended it to many. However, there are some aspects of the story that give me pause.

Since this is an all-human story, I would be happy to not have the electrical charge between a touching Bella and Edward. It doesn't fit and seems awkward. My suggestion is for most stories: don't do it. I realize that it is canon, but this is something that does not need to be repeated. [At this point, I must confess that I have not read any of the Twilight books! I have seen the movies, however.]

Secondly, for all the great development of the relationship and trials that come, the resolution of the story seems too quick and convenient. It almost feels as if WC wanted to get the story finished and rushed through the ending. At the time of this review, the final chapter or two had not been published, so it's possible that my opinion will change.

The grand story line is somewhat predictable but so what? Lots of twiFics tell you whether the story is HEA (happily ever after) or angsty or "Bella and Edward." Frankly, I'd prefer to not know; that's what makes the various stories exciting. Wrenfield Hall, although somewhat predictable, has enough twists and turns to make it absolutely delightful.

In summary, this is a wonderful story. The development of the relationship between Edward and Bella satisfies the romantic side of me because it's tender and believable. The character development seems natural and deep. The plot keeps my attention. The writing grabs you from chapter one and tugs at your emotions throughout. If you haven't started Wrenfield Hall yet, what are you waiting for?
 

Thursday, March 31, 2011

REVIEW: She Gives Me Religion by Liz Lemon Bennett

Summary on ff.net: Hot-headed seminary student, Edward Masen meets just widowed bride Bella Swan.
While I spent the past weekend reading The Hunger Games trilogy, my Posse h00rs were rabidly discussing She Brings Me Religion, the debut fanfic from Liz Lemon Bennett. What started out as a o/s for The Cherry Exchange contest (and winner of Best 1st Time Author) is now a full-fledged story with 11 chapters posted. The Posse twittered on about this with such conviction that I had to get on board with this story. After reading the first chapter, I knew it would be my next review.
Edward Masen, seminarian, is summoned to the hospital by his mentor, the Reverend Carlisle Cullen, to assist with counseling the family of Mike Newton who was tragically killed in an accident on his weddding day. Mike's widow Bella catches Edward's eye and he makes it his mission to attend to her needs.

"Um... Bella... would you like to... um... pray with me?" Christ that sounds ridiculous. When Carlisle says that, it sounds so smooth, seductive even. He could get the anti-Christ to kneel in prayer.
Edward's half holy/half horny inner monologue had me snorting at my laptop all morning. Though he is a man of faith, he's also a witty, self-deprecating, hot-blooded virgin. The virgin part doesn't last long as “attending to Bella's needs” means things get a bit out of hand. They get all handsy actually.

God forgive me for my aching desire to touch her, to taste her... sorry. I'll pull it together.
When I started this review I copied and pasted a few of my favorite quotes into the document. Next thing I knew I had 3 pages of quotes. It’s tough to scale back as it's such fun to read!

During their first time together Bella wants to know what Edward is feeling. She appears to be fishing for a little dirty talk but this goes way over Edward's head:
"Edward, tell me what it feels like. What I feel like." Don't mess this up, Masen- think of something romantic.
"Like...ugh...rain in April...ugh...like...puppies..."
"Like puppies and rain?" Shit, she's able to talk and I'm not, not a good sign.
"No, no... hot, wet, so fucking tight... like my cock is getting it's first hug... ugh...and it's been, really, neglected...augh."
The next day when Alice alludes to their night of passion he is reminded of the fact that they didn’t use a condom:
Safe? Good Lord. I didn't use a condom. I didn't have a condom. I didn't think about having a condom. What virgin my age-what celibate, seminarian virgin my age carries around a condom? My sex fantasies never include a condom. Wait, I didn't come inside her, no... I did. I definitely did. Lord, please, please, please Lord, let me be sterile-not always, just right now, just last night.
Chapter 5 is told from Bella’s POV and I found her voice to be as sweet and endearing as Edward’s. Her relationship with her dad Charlie is very canon. He is ever the protective Chief Swan, though Edward easily wins his trust.
"I like that Edward character." Oh, my. My father's supreme compliment lands squarely on the shoulders of Edward Masen. There have been plenty of 'goof-balls,' 'clowns,' even a 'yahoo' early on, but 'character' is reserved for Alice, Angela, and... no, that's it. Wow.
Hoot’s lovely banner (shown above) borrows a line from Chapter 8 “…when you start a relationship with sex and death, where do you go from there?" Where do you go when you make love to the girl of your dreams but you don’t really know her and her dead husband isn’t even buried yet? Awkwardness, anger, doubt, depression, despair, passion, and jealousy ensue. Through it all there is an undercurrent of snark and humor that keeps things on the lighter side. For example, Edward attempts to cheer Bella up at the funeral:
"Anyone say anything weird yet?"
"Yes, our Biology teacher, Mr. Banner, said that Mike's reserving me a seat at the big lab table in the sky."
"Priceless. Okay, here's our game: let's track who can say the strangest things. So far, Banner is in the lead. We'll pick the winner later, maybe get them a prize."
And later, when you think Saintward can’t get any kinder, compassionate, and loving, he turns into Edward – God of Seduction.
"Mmm. So, are you going to answer my question? What do you intend to do with me?"
"Well, Isabella..." I say, emphasizing each syllable. "I'm not sure if you've noticed," I say, pulling off each boot, "fucking sexy boots, by the way..." and throw them over my shoulder.
"Thanks... I'll tell Alice, they're hers," she laughs and I crawl up onto the bed, between her leg, "noticed what?"
I begin to unbutton and unzip her jeans, "Each time we've been together, you have been the instigator..."
"Yes, thank you for mentioning it... I'm painfully aware of that little pattern."
"No worries," I crawl back down off the bed, "I thought tonight I could wear the pants, while you Isabella Swan," I hold onto the cuffs at the bottom of her jeans, "wear none," and pull them off in one swift move, and she squeals once more. Fuck yeak, I've been thinking about that move all day.
Oh yeah baby. Read it. ‘Nuff said.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

COMMENTARY: My addiction and my marriage: It's gonna be a bumpy ride

"I'm done. I'm just done." These were the first words my husband spoke to me after giving me the silent treatment for two days last week. Apparently he hates my life in the fandom - including, but not limited to - tweeting, facebooking, emailing, blogging, reading, traveling to meet "online" friends, etc. Really? You didn't like that blow job I gave you? Could've fooled me. That's too bad because I'm much more interested in sex because of fanfiction.

I understand. I really do. I have over a hundred pictures of another man on my phone. I would rather read and discuss fanfiction than watch American Idol. I take my phone everywhere and check it every 23.8 seconds. I've already admitted it's a sickness. This blog is about my addiction to this for fuck's sake! I know I've changed (see previous commentary). But why did it take him a year to fucking say something? And why did he have to torture me with silence? Because that's who he is.

"I'm not happy anymore." That was the second thing he said. That just screams mid-life crisis.  Am I supposed to make him happy? Where's that manual? Maybe there's a fanfiction story I can read to help me out. Does it have a HEA?

I know what I need to do. I need to find more balance. I need to give him more of myself. I need to compartmentalize my life better. I need to schedule my life in the fandom much like I do everything else. Fuck.

We had problems before this. We've never communicated well. He's never been on my team and I've never been his cheerleader. We are not soulmates, if there is such a thing. "We don't have anything in common," he says. No shit Sherlock. We've never had much in common. We have gotten by because we really admire each other. We also adore the three amazing people that we created. I am weird and nerdy, passionate and flirty, spoiled and scholarly. He is practical and humble, affectionate but prudish, purposeful and industrious. I am all over the place. He would give anyone the shirt off his back.

Apparently it's a problem that I feel closer to my twitter friends than my "real life" friends. I used to tweet openly but then I got "the look." I got it from him, then I started getting it from my RL friends. Then I knew I had to go undercover. Like this is a dirty little secret. I fucking hate that.

Is your home life suffering in the midst of all this?

Friday, February 25, 2011

REVIEW: Love is the End by phoebes.promise

Summary from ff.net:
If he had only spoken the right words at the right time she would be his forever. Instead, they ache, love and long for each other in silence. A bittersweet love story desperately searching for a happily ever after. E/B, AH, M.


Every now and again I read a story that grips my heart and doesn't let go. This happened to me with this story. My Twi Posse pals @RTP4ME and @livindol recommended this fic that I'm obsessing over like I did for Dead on my Feet. I crave updates like a hooker craves a feminine wipe.

This story tells the history of Bella and Edward's love from primarily Edward's POV in a series of nonchronological flashbacks interwoven into the present day narrative starting with a prologue that's painful to read.
"Do you make love to her, Edward?" She whispered in the darkness.
I stilled my fingers that were stroking the smooth, delicate skin on her naked back as she lay across my chest.
"Answer me. Do you make love to your…wife?" Her voice trailed off at the last word.
Bella and Edward are lovers desperately in love. Widow Bella and married Edward are brought together once again at Hale House to remember their mutual friend Angela, who has died tragically. Because their lives have revolved around the same band of friends, their clandestine couplings take place around significant life events that bring the crew together.
I knew we were already vacillating between mourning and loving. It was a complicated conflict that only we understood. We'd mastered our reunions around the guise of funerals, weddings, christenings, and holidays.
Whether intentional or not, this story pays homage to the movie The Big Chill, and I highly recommend watching said movie- perhaps the best casting in a ensemble movie ever.

Wusspervs BEWARE! I have teared up or downright wept during each chapter just like I do reading Expectations and Other Moving Pieces. The following passage takes place while Bella is holding Angela's baby girl:
I rocked and soothed Leah in her moonlit nursery. I traced her tiny features and watched her rapid breaths. "If your mommy was here, she'd guide my heart… She was very good at that. She'd remind me how much Edward loves me, how much he always loved me… How we'll be okay." My whispers were met with peace and slumber. I dusted a goodnight kiss over her forehead and laid her down. "But your mommy's not here… anymore, beautiful girl."
This is not a secretive infidelity, nearly everyone knows that Edward and Bella are in love and having an affair. All their friends and families know. Bella's deceased husband knew before he died. Even Lauren, Edward's ex-beauty queen wife, suspects Edward has someone on the side, though she hasn't figured out who it is. Some are supportive and some are not, and this creates additional stress on this couple trying to find a way to be together when all the cards are stacked against them.

The characterizations here are rich. From Renee's drinking problem, to Lauren's vapid personality, you will get these people; they are real. And speaking of Lauren, I find myself truly feeling very sorry for this character. She has done nothing to deserve Edward's betrayal.

If I started quoting my favorite passages from this fic I would be here all day. This is one that I can't get out of my head.
"You make love to your beautiful wife, in your beautiful home, in your beautiful life… You know what I do, Edward?" She whispered away from me. "I lay in the guest room, in the dark… touching myself, thinking about you… remembering you... missing you." Her tears fell, her words penetrated.

"My life is not beautiful, Bella." I said quietly, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Do you love her?" She faced me, eyes seeking truth.
The following line had me realizing for the 2,543,907th time what separates people who write from writers:
"Talk to me…" She pulled away to see my face. Gently, her fingers traced along my cheekbones, down my jaw and covered my mouth, again. She shook her head, no. Denial was a dangerous evil easily mistaken for survival.
The author admits that there will be more torture before the promised HEA. I understand many of you will want to wait until it's complete to read. I will tweet when it's complete so you won't have to live in agony for updates like myself...Now where's that feminine wipe?

 If you like angst please give this story a read and tell phoebes.promise I sent you.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

COMMENTARY: Fanfiction has taken over my fucking life!

I used to clean one or more rooms of my house everyday. This rarely happens anymore. It's presentable, but don't look too closely. This is not to say I've conquered my OCD about the house being clean, but the draw to read fanfiction overrides the draw to clean my house obsessively. That means I am stressing about my house looking like shit (because in my eyes it does), but I continue reading. Is there a pill for this?


I used to watch TV and Netflix movies. Yup, that's now a thing of the past. And since I'm the sugar-mama around here, it chaps my ass that I pay the DirecTV and Netflix bills and I don't even watch TV. My RL friends think I'm whacked because I haven't seen Modern Family or Glee. Meh. What-the-fuck-ever.


I used to read magazines like Living the Country Life, Better Homes & Gardens, and Midwest Living. I still subscribe to them but I haven't read an issue in months. I recently started going through the Pottery Barn and Williams Sonoma catalogs. Get this - I had stopped looking at those when they came in the mail and that's just fucking crazy! I love those stores!


I used to be my neighborhood's answer to Martha Stewart. In the summer of 2009 I had a fabulous garden filled with tomatoes, peppers, onions, corn, strawberries, raspberries, asparagus, herbs, garlic, peas, beans, carrots, rhubarb, and other stuff I can't recall. Some of these veggies, like the tomatoes and herbs, I started from seed with grow lights and whatnot. I made pies and canned salsa. In the summer of 2010 AFF (after fanfiction), I planted 7 tomato plants and weeded once. I did read a lot of fanfiction on the deck while sipping wine or martinis.


Our family went camping in August 2010. I brought along the laptop and wireless internet aircard so I could read fanfiction. What is a vacation on the beach if you're not reading your favorite stories? I also learned that it's tough reading a laptop while lying in the sun; that damn screen just isn't bright enough. I'm definitely getting an e-reader before next summer!


I now plan my vacation days around meeting my fellow Twitards and fich00rs. I have been to Forks once and am going back in September. Can't. Fucking. Wait. And yes, I'll be gone on my wedding anniversary again. Sorry hubs, you understand right?


I could go on and on with this...How has your fanfiction addiction changed your life?